


Past

by sewinshut



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 17:06:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7810183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sewinshut/pseuds/sewinshut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The past has a way of coming back</p>
            </blockquote>





	Past

“No. You don't understand. I can't.” The girl Rainy says crying. 

They want her to testify against her rapist, a boy she turned down who beat her into a bloody pulp.

Amanda sighs as she gets up, they'd been talking for forty minutes and made no progress. He can't stand the thought of what Rainey was going through, Amanda hasn't been very sensitive and he's pretty sure she wants this case to rap up quickly so she can go deal with her mom.

“I do, I get it.” Carisi says quietly.

“No you don't not unless you been...been raped.” She spits the word out like it's venomous. He can't help but think it is. Once someone's been hurt that way they can't help but fear it from everyone. When others know you're either a whore or you're made of porcelain and everyone's scared to touch you.

“I know, I’ve… been in your shoes.” Carisi said glancing back he spots the squad arguing in the squad room, one of the perks of talking to victims in captains office.

“You’ve” she pauses “You’ve been..raped.”  
He flashes a small smile, a nervous tick he’s had since he was young. Most likely a side effect of being taught not to show weakness by his father. He still can't vocalize the act himself when talk about his experience. It tastes like bile in mouth and he swears he smell the stale beer and touch of his hands.

“Yes. when I was a freshmen in college. I get it, really not want people to know, being scared of what they’ll say.” Carsis says biting his lip. “It can get really bad, victim shaming. when people say well what were you wearing or doing? Are you sure you didn't lead them on or well you deserved it. I get it being scared of being a disappointment, of your parents disapproval even though they says they believe you.”

“so you understand why I can't.” She says wiping her eyes.

He hands her a tissue “I do really, but I also know how it will haunt you, how you’ll always look over your shoulder, never be able to get close to someone. the one thing I regret was not telling someone. Letting him win.”

“You didn't tell? she asks balling up the tissue.

“No I didn’t. I had classes with him, friends with his friends. It got to be too much being in the same room, campus in general the fear of running into him alone.” Carisi says tearing up. "So I left my dream school, the school I worked so hard to get into. I let him control my life, I let him have this power over me.” 

“What happened?” She whispers.

“He graduated with honors, became a lawyer and was shot by a client two years ago.”


End file.
